letters to santa

my friend jess sent me this email and with the holiday season officially starting, i thought it would make a cute post.

deer santa:
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend, BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I
send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving
your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and
joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy
and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane.
Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom,
who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get
you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with
those?
Santa

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your
reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.
Santa

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China Every year I give
them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where
I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking
myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses
while losing money at the craps table.
Santa

Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake,
like in the song?
Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping
your house.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE
could I have one?
Timmy

Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't
work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.
Santa

Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love, Marky

Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass
kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like
all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa

What kind of yarn are you?

I have been looking for yarn all over the place for some Christmas presents that I am attempting to make this year for my friends and family.

You are Mohair.

The Best Chick Flicks of All Time

The Best Chick Flicks of All Time

Here are the top 25 of the 50 published in the magazine:
"Morocco," directed by Josef von Sternberg
"Camille," directed George Cukor
"Notorious," directed by Alfred Hitchcock
"The French Lieutenant's Woman," directed by Karel Reisz
"The English Patient," directed by Anthony Minghella
"The Women," directed by George Cukor
 "Julia," directed by Fred Zinnemann
"Desperately Seeking Susan," directed by Susan Seidelman
"The Truth About Cats & Dogs," directed by Michael Lehmann
"Romy and Michele's High School Reunion," directed by David Mirkin
"The Hours," directed by Stephen Daldry
"All About Eve," directed by Joseph L. Mankiewicz
"Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore," directed by Martin Scorsese
"Aliens," directed by James Cameron
"Thelma & Louise," directed by Ridley Scott
"What's Love Got to Do With It," directed by Brian Gibson
"Girlfight," directed by Karyn Kusama
"Black Narcissus," directed by Emeric Pressburger and Michael Powell
"The Shop Around the Corner," directed by Ernst Lubitsch
"The Lady Eve," directed by Preston Sturges
"Born Yesterday," directed by George Cukor
"Pat and Mike," directed by George Cukor
"Breakfast at Tiffany's," directed by Blake Edwards
"Bull Durham," directed by Ron Shelton
"Pretty Woman," directed by Garry Marshall

States Ranked: Smartest to Dumbest

We're #2!
News

States Ranked: Smartest to Dumbest

The smartest state in the union for the second consecutive year is Massachusetts.

The dumbest, for the third year in a row, is New Mexico.

These are the findings of the Education State Rankings, a survey by Morgan Quitno Press of hundreds of public school systems in all 50 states. States were graded on a variety of factors based on how they compare to the national average. These included such positive attributes as per-pupil expenditures, public high school graduation rates, average class size, student reading and math proficiency, and pupil-teacher ratios. States received negative points for high drop-out rates and physical violence.

How does YOUR state rank?
Massachusetts
Connecticut
Vermont
New Jersey
Wisconsin
New York
Minnesota
Iowa
Pennsylvania
Montana


Maine
Virginia
Nebraska
New Hampshire
Kansas
Wyoming
Indiana
Maryland
North Dakota
Ohio


Colorado
South Dakota
Rhode Island
Illinois
North Carolina
Missouri
Delaware
Utah
Idaho
Washington


Michigan
South Carolina
Texas and West Virginia (tie)
Oregon
Arkansas
Kentucky
Georgia
Florida
Oklahoma


Tennessee
Hawaii
California
Alabama
Alaska
Louisiana
Mississippi
Arizona
Nevada
New Mexico

New York Yankees Coaches

I am so glad to see that Don Mattingly is coming back for another year and that Joe Girardi is now a bench coach. How exciting!

STOTTLEMYRE, MATTINGLY, GIRARDI NAMED COACHES

The New York Yankees announced today that former catcher Joe Girardi, a member of three World-Championship Yankee clubs in 1996, 1998 and 1999, will rejoin the club as Bench Coach and Catching Instructor in 2004.
Pitching Coach Mel Stottlemyre will return for a 10th consecutive season in 2005 and Don Mattingly, who returned to the Yankees as Batting Coach last season, will be back for a second straight season.
Girardi, 40, concluded a 15-year Major-League career after the 2003 season and spent last season as a broadcaster for the YES Network. He was named to the National League All-Star team in 2000 as a member of the Chicago Cubs.
An announcement on the remaining members of Joe Torre's 2005 coaching staff will be made at a later date.New York Yankees News

Halo 2

No I certainly did not wait in line at midnight to get my copy. But I did get it! I had pre-ordered Halo 2 months ago! And today is the day when I finally got to go pick it up and I am so excited to play. It got a 9.4 from gamespot.

First-day sales will reach $100 million, a senior Microsoft games executive said Tuesday. USATODAY.com

The O.C. cast

I watched the first episode of the second season of The O.C. tonight and it looks to be yet another interesting season. I then read an article in EW talking about the new additions to the cast. There is Michael Cassidy
(playing Zach, the impossibly perfect new boyfriend of Summer), Nicholas Gonzalez (playing DJ, the hunky gardener who's interested in more than just lawn care), Shannon Lucio (playing Lindsay Gardner, a girl from a working-class family who finds she has a lot in common with Ryan, a fellow outsider to the posh suburb), and Olivia Wilde (playing Alex, who works at the Bait Shop, The O.C.'s version of the Peach Pit After Dark).

Jeter hauls in Gold Glove Award

Well its about time this happened! WAY TO GO DJ!

Jeter hauls in Gold Glove Award

Derek Jeter added another line to his already impressive resume on Tuesday, winning his first Gold Glove Award.
Jeter becomes the first Yankees shortstop to win the award, giving New York a Gold Glover at every position in its history.
"It's a great honor. I take pride in my defense and I work hard each year to improve in the field," Jeter said in a statement released by the club. "There are a number of fantastic defensive shortstops in the American League -- too many to count -- and to be recognized with the Gold Glove makes it that much more of a special accomplishment.
"I also want to thank our pitching staff for having so many of our opponents hit balls in my direction."
The Yankees have now had 20 players win a total of 55 Gold Glove awards, led by Don Mattingly's 10 at first base.
"Derek Jeter is a great, inspired leader and captain," said George Steinbrenner through his publicist, Howard Rubenstein. "He certainly deserves this honor."

time for change or four more years?

Yahoo! News - Elections

I have some nervous energy running around in anticipation of knowing who the President is going to be for the next four years. I went out and voted for Kerry (even if he is a Red Sox fan).

Steelers 34, Patriots 20

A bunch of us watched the Steelers win over the Patriots yesterday and let me tell you that we had a GREAT time doing it! I am LOVING BIG BEN!!!



My Way - Sports News - Steelers 34, Patriots 20

PITTSBURGH (AP) - The New England Patriots are no longer perfect, all because of a rookie quarterback who still is.
Ben Roethlisberger, who doesn't know what it's like to lose an NFL game, drove the Steelers to four scores following uncharacteristic New England turnovers and Pittsburgh ended the Patriots' two long winning streaks with a remarkably easy 34-20 victory Sunday.
The Patriots (6-1) had won 21 straight counting the playoffs and a league-record 18 in a row in the regular season, but were all but out of this one after Roethlisberger threw two touchdown passes to Plaxico Burress during a 21-point Steelers first quarter.