Friday, October 20, 2006

What Sexy Halloween Costume Are You?

Your Sexy Halloween Costume Is

Pin Up Sailor Girl

What Tattoo Should You Get?

You Should Get an Abstract Tattoo

Artistic and unique

You're the most likely type to personally design your tattoo

Thursday, October 19, 2006

baseball is over for the season...

I am sad. The baseball season is now over for me. Yes, yes, I know the World Series has not begun yet. For me, baseball is over. I am a Yankees fan. Once were eliminated from the playoffs, I was hoping the Mets would win. My grandfather was a Mets fan and I figured, what the heck, they are from New York. But, the Mets were eliminated tonight. I was so hoping to be able to watch baseball for another week. At least it's not the Red Sox in the World Series. How many days left until pitchers and catchers report for the 2007 season?


Quiz Meme
danielle is a member of
Guns are Wicked

Create your own band name @ Quiz Meme

blogger beta

well i set up my blog for the new blogger beta and so far, i LOVE it! i can not wait to ssee it all put together.

100 Things (You thought) You Didn't Want to Know

100 Things
you (thought you) didn't want to know

  • favorite fruit is strawberries

  • love love love coffee and iced coffee

  • i love grape juice

  • i love kevin smith (you may know him as 'silent bob')

  • i love rainy days

  • i have a dog named blu

  • i am constantly trying to quit smoking.

  • I won't eat anything out of the sea.

  • I love chocolate

  • I am petrified of train tracks.

  • I love books

  • I am pro-choice

  • I am anti-death penalty

  • I enjoy making people laugh

  • I love movies that make me cry

  • I have a hard time giving up on anything

  • My favorite baseball team is the new york yankees

  • I love Derek Jeter

  • I have lots of nicknames

  • My family is the most important thing in the world to me

  • I enjoy knitting and crochet

  • I like gardening

  • I hate the way I look in glasses

  • I love looking at something and trying to figure out how to make it

  • I love when I actually make that something

  • I have a sick addiction to office supplies. (especially post it notes in funky shapes or colors)

  • I own lots of makeup

  • I rarely wear makeup

  • I buy MAC makeup (what? RuPaul is their spokesperson)

  • I love sample-size and travel-size products

  • My favorite cartoon character is Winnie the Pooh

  • I can be distracted with shiny objects

  • I only buy blue ball-point pens

  • I searched for a year for Bic Atlantis medium point blue pens before I found them and ordered enough for the year

  • I will not eat veal EVER

  • I am against hunting

  • I don't wear fur

  • I can not go into a pet store without wanting to bring them all home

  • I hate guns

  • I prefer silver to gold

  • I love to swear

  • I prefer black and white to color photos (*except the ones my mom takes, they're beautiful regardless*)

  • When I was little, I wanted to be a lawyer, a teacher, an artist and an interior designer

  • I like to be in control of everything and everyone

  • I have a hard time giving up on anything

  • I often cry from television shows

  • I almost never wear plain socks

  • I prefer coke in a can to any other 'soft drink'

  • My favorite color is blue.

  • It's nearly impossible for me to admit when I'm wrong

  • My favorite flowers are gerbera daiseys, lilacs and sunflowers.

  • I try to vote in every election (even the small local ones)

  • I have seen almost every episode of 90210.

  • I am full of useless knowledge.

  • I get addicted to 'The Sims' with every new expansion pack.

  • I am a caffeine addict.

  • I wish I could be in the mafia.

  • Ive had my tongue and nose pierced

  • I hate belly piercings

  • I love the smell of rain

  • The thought of children scare me

  • I love politics and controversial issues

  • If I could stop eating chicken, I would be a vegetarian

  • I am an only child

  • When I was younger I swam in Long Island Sound all the time (*yuk yuk yuk*)

  • I love Billy Joel

  • I am easily annoyed

  • I once got a ticket for trespassing at a 'keg' party and along with 80 other minors, had my name on the front page of the paper

  • I wish I were smarter with computers

  • I'm terribly clumsy at times

  • I get very nervous in airplanes

  • I love making presents for people instead of buying them

  • I know how to play poker

  • I'm pretty good at setback but have never been in any type of prison

  • On the outside, my bedroom looks like a mess, but I can always find what I'm looking for

  • I've been to Ireland

  • During a terrible storm

  • We spent a lot of time indoors

  • Drinking lots of Guinness

  • I love doing yoga

  • My dream car is a VW Beetle Convertible

  • The BMW or Mercedes come tied for second

  • I have a strog disliking to Mustangs

  • I stereotype the people who drive them to be assholes

  • I'm 75% right with my stereotype

  • I pick fights

  • I'm very impatient

  • I prefer dark to milk chocolate

  • I have never had a teacher who could pronounce my name

  • I have no idea where my ancestors are from

  • I'm extremely interested in finding out

  • I hate Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman with a passion. Tom more than Nicole.

  • I think he is a coward for moving to Australia because America is "unsafe for children'

  • I was born with a birthmark shaped like a heart on my leg

  • I had to have it removed

  • I don't think I will ever get married

  • I love my family

  • I dye my hair all the time

  • I honestly like playing drinking games

10 Things You Don't Know About Women

I personally thought that this was a riot!! I agree that makeup does get us 'high'. Its the same thing with shoes.
10 Things You Don't Know About Women
By Sarah Silverman
May 2002, Volume 137, Issue 5
Sarah Silverman, a comedian and actress, stars in the new Fox sitcom Greg the Bunny.
The assignment is "Ten things men don't know about women." I am the worst person to write this. Get Nora Ephron. Get Mim Udovitch. But me? Look, if you want a piece on the difference between men and women, you can pick one up next to the cash register at any bookstore. (I think computers write them now.) But as I thought about it, I realized it's up to me, as a writer, to find a unique angle. Then I found it: total and complete honesty. That's right, the following are, truly, the ten things that men don't know about women.
1. We go to the bathroom together because we're doing coke.
2. We want to cuddle after sex because we're fucking freezing.
3. Makeup gets you high.
4. The "menstrual cramp" is a made-up phenomenon. Like the "Holocaust."
5. Not all women like crappy, sappy movies. Unfortunately, many do. Which is why they get made. So, ultimately, you can actually blame women for the perpetuation of mediocrity in film.
6. Vaginas have a hidden pocket for change. (Not coins, social change.)
7. Our eyes are up here.
8. We hate our thighs because, interestingly enough, they opposed our right to vote.
9. Women who get boob jobs "for themselves" also give blow jobs "for themselves."
10. The labia minora is not Hanukkah paraphernalia.

cuss words

Why I Love Cuss Words
Ok ok I know I should watch it with the 'potty mouth' thing. I wonder if Joe Rogan has seen this one? Actually, I can see him writing this for some reason. But this article is too funny. I wonder if I can use this as my mantra?
I try to keep it clean, but sometimes a good fuck! or shit! provides just the release I need. Say you drop something heavy on your foot. "Gosh darn it!" doesn't cut it. And why should it? Language Hitlers say anyone who swears doesn't have sufficient mastery of the language. Bullshit. Invoke Shakespeare when someone cuts you off in traffic and see how fast you get through town.
Some folks can remember when they first heard the word "fuck" or "shit." I only remember being convinced that saying fuck would send me straight to hell, where you can cuss to your heart's content as demons stick red-hot pokers up your ass. At one point I was such a twisted goody-too shoes that I blackened out the single instance of the word fuck in a book of monologues by Steve Martin. I've been fucking overcompensating every since.
Swearing, cussing, taking the Lord's name in vain ó all have been frowned on for centuries. George Washington told his troops to refrain from "the foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing." OK, George. You get butchered by better equipped Brits and watch your fingers and toes fall off in the cold. Can you hear those poor troops mumbling after the general rode off? "Fuck you, ya wigtop, and the horse you rode in on."
As part of his research on cursing, professor Tim Jay (author of Cursing in America and What To Do When Your Kids Talk Dirty) assigned his students to count "bad" words in the movies. The findings are not surprising: Movies during the Eighties contained an average of 81 cuss words, up from 24 during the Sixties and 1.5 in films before that. Is that an indication of a decline in our society, or is Hollywood making better movies? War is not some goddamned action-adventure movie. Even in classics like Gone With the Wind, do you think Scarlett O'Hara was shaking her fist at the sky saying, "Goshdarnit, I've lost everything and might die here of starvation?" Hell no. She was spitting, "Fuck them Yankees." But nobody gave a damn.
What galls me most is how hypocritical the media is when it comes to swear words. Richard Nixon swore like a bat out of hell on the Watergate tapes. But no newspaper had the guts to print the transcripts with the expletives not deleted. (Not only was Nixon an asshole, he had no talent using cuss words.) Reinhold Aman, a former university professor and editor of Maledicta Press, calls it "newspaper censorshit" so publications that quote him have to print it as "newspaper censorshó." He wonders, as I do, why so many publications spell fuck as fó-. What is that? Find? Food? Fork? The newsweeklies will show its prissy readers graphic photos of mutilated Rwandans, but if someone says, "This is bullshit," it causes a ruckus. If you are going to disguise words that might offend some readers, what about hó-sóual, abótion or s-x?

Once you start looking for censorship, it pops up everywhere. Entertainment Weekly once printed an interview with Howard Stern and used dashes to disguise words like asshole and fuck. But in the same article, the magazine included a graphic description of a Stern writer sticking his finger up someone's butt. When a Republican congressman called Bill Clinton a "scumbag," the New York Times didn't print the word. Instead, they called it a "vulgarity for a condom" (?) and later "a euphemism for a despicable person." That narrows it down.
More recently, the journalism review Brill's Content began censoring "naughty" words. In one issue, it quotes a court document: "Hotseattle also asked if I had seen a picture of his naked c--k." Is that how the affidavit printed the word? Probably not. So the quote isn't accurate. In past issues, this hardhitting magazine has also censored fuck and bullshit (the latter in an essay by investigative journalist Bob Woodward). I wrote editor in chief Steve Brill to ask about the policy. He told me that these words be blocked out because, "My kids read my magazine." Maybe he should call it Brill's Children's Content.
My favorite example of prudery has to be when Men's Health ó a magazine read entirely by people with penises ó quoted Robin Williams explaining how to save a stand-up routine. If all else fails, he said, "go for the dó- joke." Can you believe that? A men's magazine afraid of the word dick.
All of this is why, to get to the point, I have launched the Society to Highlight Ingrate Terms (SHIT). Just as the National Rifle Association believes that a good gun owner is an educated gun owner, SHIT reminds its members that cuss words relieve a tremendous amount of tension, but only if used with respect for their power. SHIT will educate people to use swear words properly. For instance, shit is an all-purpose word; cussers should use it when failing an exam or watching a favorite team cost you $20 by blowing a huge lead. However, if you use lose more than $20, that's a fuck. If you're dealing with the IRS, that might be a shit or a fuck, depending on who did your taxes; if you're dealing with the FBI or ATF, that's always a fuck.
Among other cuss words, asshole is good for the boss or moron coworkers or in-laws, but motherfucker should be reserved for more weighty situations, such as when a mugger who shoots you even after you give him your wallet, or you realize you're slipping off the edge of the Grand Canyon as you back up for a family photo. I hear motherfucker invoked for the simplest of transgressions, such as a foul during a basketball game. No, no, no! "Fuck you" will suffice, or maybe "What the hell?" Motherfucker is a fairly serious accusation.
Membership in SHIT is free, but we do expect members to uphold certain standards. Children must be encouraged to use cuss words properly, or not at all (if a toddler wants to say shit when he falls on his face, he'll say it. Give him time). We do not swear at police officers, because they have guns. And although swear words exist in all languages, SHIT uses the English standard. Members are, however, permitted to say "Pardon my French."
Should you lack the control to use cuss words only when warranted, you may suspend your membership by saying aloud in front of two witnesses, "Fuck SHIT." Remember to burn your membership card.

An Open Letter to Terrorists

Well, you hit the World Trade Center, but you missed America.
You hit the Pentagon, but you missed America.
You used helpless American bodies, to take out other American bodies,
but like a poor marksman, you STILL missed America.
Why? Because of something you guys will never understand.
America isn't about a building or two, not about financial centers, not about military centers, America isn't about a place, America isn't even about a bunch of bodies.
America is about an IDEA. An idea, that you can go someplace where you can earn as much as you can figure out how to, live for the most part, like you envisioned living, and pursue happiness. (No guarantees that you'll reach it, but you can sure try!)
Go ahead and whine your terrorist whine, and chant your terrorist litany: "If you can not see my point, then feel my pain." This concept is alien to Americans. We live in a country where we don't have to see your point. But you're free to have one. We don't have to listen to your speech. But you're free to say one. Don't know where you got the strange idea that everyone has to agree with you. We don't always agree with each other in this country, almost as a matter of pride. We're a collection of guys that don't agree, called States. We united our individual states to protect ourselves from tyranny in the world. Another idea, we made up on the spot. You CAN make it up as you go, when it's your country. If you're free enough.
Yeah, we're fat, sloppy, easy-going goofs most of the time. That's an unfortunate image to project to the world, but it comes from feeling free and easy about the world you live in. It's unfortunate too, because people start to forget that when you attack Americans, they tend to fight like a cornered badger. The first we knew of the War of 1812 was when England burned Washington D.C. to the ground. Didn't turn out like England thought it was going to, and it's not going to turn out like you think, either. Sorry, but you're not the first bully on our shores, just the most recent.
No Marquis of Queensbury rules for Americans, either. We were the FIRST and so far, the only country in the world to use nuclear weapons in anger. Horrific idea, nowadays? News for you bucko, it was back then too, but we used it anyway. Only had two of them in the whole world and we used them both. Grandpa Jones worked on the Manhattan Project. Told me once, that right up until they threw the switch, the physicists were still arguing over whether the Uranium alone would fission, or whether it would start a fission chain reaction that would eat everything. But they threw the switch anyway, because we had a War to win. Does this tell you something about American Resolve?
So who just declared War on us? It would be nice to point to some real estate, like the good old days. Unfortunately, we're probably at war with random camps, in far-flung places - who think they're safe. Just like the Barbary Pirates did, if I recall correctly. Better start sleeping with one eye open.
There's a spirit that tends to take over people who come to this country, looking for opportunity, looking for liberty, and looking for freedom. Even if they misuse it. The Marielistas that Castro emptied out of his prisons were overjoyed to find out how much freedom there was. First thing they did when they hit our shores, was run out and buy guns. The ones that didn't end up dead, ended up in prisons. It was a big pain in the ass then (especially in south Florida), but you're only the newest pain in the ass , not the first.
You guys seem to be incapable of understanding that we don't live in America, America lives in US! American Spirit is what it's called. And killing a few thousand of us, or a few million of us, won't change it. Most of the time, it's a pretty happy-go-lucky kind of Spirit.
Until we're crossed in a cowardly manner, then it becomes an entirely different kind of Spirit. Wait until you see what we do with that Spirit, this time. Sleep tight, if you can. We're coming.
"Author Unknown"

nasty crafty people

I find it incredibly interesting that certain people in society feel the need to treat others like crap. I have had my share of horrid jobs, and have realized that when dealing with the general public, certain people don't feel the need to be nice to a sales clerk. They feel that they are above the normal niceties that you treat other human beings with at least a small amount of respect. The one that sticks out in my head most is what happened to me recently when working at a local crafts store. Now keep in my that it is my second day working there and although I have done my share of arts and crafts other than finger-painting in the second grade, I do not know all that there is to be known on the subject. But I'm the first to ask for help. So back to my story. Second day on the job and I have two female customers come up to me to ask for fabric swatches. I have no problem with giving out swatches, nor does the company, but within reason. Well, seeing that the customer is always right and that you're supposed to kiss their butt, I have a hard time telling this woman that a yard of fabric does not constitute as a fabric swatch and for that quantity, you will have to pay for it just like the rest of the general public. The woman could not understand this rule, insisting that thirty-six inches was the least amount that she could take of this fabric, for she had to have the entire pattern to be able to take home to make sure that it matches her carpet and her drapes. I have two co-workers on either side of me and I give one of them a face like, 'can you please help me out, I have no idea what to tell this woman and to have someone at least seem to be on my side right now would be a great help'. What do I get? You know it. Nothing. I'm stuck dealing with a hostile customer on my second day, insisting that she needs to take a yard of each roll of fabric that she brought up to the cutting counter, bringing a total of around $100.00 of free fabric. I want to be able to get that amount of free stuff from this place too but for some reason I don't see it happening. Then the bitch glances at my name tag. My boss so eloquently put my name and then "in training" underneath it. I get a snide glare and a snicker asking if I'm new. I politely respond yes and she snickers again. I so want to punch this bleached blonde with roots that need to be dyed and ask her if it really makes a difference whether or not I'm new because nobody in their right mind was going to give her what she wanted for free. Needless to say, she made me cry. I went into the back room, through down my apron, and told my boss that I quit. Maybe I have an aura that attracts these kind of people. Either way, I hate working in retail, and I can't say that I'm sorry for leaving when I did.