:: MAXIM ONLINE :: Office Drinking Game
Oh, like you’re so productive anyway.
You know that six pack that’s been chilling in your office fridge for the past eight months, waiting for that “special occasion” that never comes? Well, if you’ve got the cajones (and the financial stability to accept unemployment) we suggest you grab that mystery lager and have yourself some fun on company time.
If you’re drinking at work, it’s pretty safe to say that all bets are off. Maxim Online accepts no responsibility for your dumb ass getting fired.
Take One Drink When…
- Every time someone’s abandoned cell phone rings.
- You pass a desk or cubicle, causing the guy sitting there to hastily close out of the porn site he was just on.
- You’re asked to “brainstorm.”
- Every time your computer crashes or freezes. (Take an extra drink every time the tech support guys tell you, “We’ll be right up.”)
- You receive a “chain e-mail” from the office religious nut.
- Someone’s hangover/burrito relief has befouled the restroom.
- You see someone with more than one framed photo/stuffed animal/action figure near their computer.
Take Two Drinks When…
- Anyone uses the terms “blue-sky,” “evergreen,” or “proactive.”
- The fax and/or copy machine is out of service.
- Someone’s lunch is potent enough to stink up the whole office.
- The bulletin board features any of the following: “Roommate wanted” ads, fire safety instructions, or embarrassing candid photos of employees.
- Someone admits to having “cc’d” or “bcc’d” someone else.
Do a Shot When…
- Your boss calls you by someone else’s name. (Take an extra shot if it’s the office fuck-up’s)
- Something in the communal refrigerator has rotted so badly, you can’t even tell what it used to be.
- The hot temp turns you down. Again.
- The mailroom “misplaces” your Maxim. Again.
- Someone gets “downsized” (Take unlimited shots if it’s you).