Thursday, May 23, 2002

should we start tipping her?

Ok I know that these are completely hypocritical ideas. I went to a concert back in '99 and I bought one of her cd's (even thought I do "own" all of them thanks to the miracle of mp3s and a cd burner). Maybe its the fact that the press has been so overly-obsessed with her and Justin. Maybe its that I think she is given far far too much credit for shakin her butt and lip-syncing. Or maybe its that I think about who I idolized as a little girl and I think of Debbie(now Deborah) Gibson (i don't think i ever saw her elbows) and maybe Madonna. And yes Madonna was totally risque but she was also 26 when she did 'Like a Virgin'. And it wasn't until she was 32 when she had the Blonde Ambition Tour. Back to my point. We are talking about a young girl in her early twenties. A time when the craziness starts to come out of all of us. Isn't that everyone's twenties? But at the same time someone who is in the constant spotlight and KNOWS that little girls look up to her the same way that she looked up to Janet and Madonna. So yes it does piss me off a when I see my 7 year old cousin crouched down on the floor air-humping an imaginary pole and claiming that its the 'Britney Dance'. And with that in mind, I give you more of my opinions.

Hypothetical Situation: 2005 - Britney loses her voice(lol) and can't make another song ever again. Her 4th divorce has just been finalized and her husband got all the money. Not qualified to do any kind of real job, she decides she wants to audition as a stripper. But does she meet the requirements?

Britney v. The Stripper

  1. Dyed hair

  2. Looks like a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSONwithout makeup.

  3. Wears TONS of eye makeup

  4. ALWAYS has lots of skin showing

  5. Breast Implants

  6. UM HELLO?!? "Creme" Magazine

  7. Dances with poles

  8. Can be mistaken for someone in porn

  9. Takes clothes off for money (did you actually think this girl doesn't get paid)

  10. Sees nothing wrong with dancing around in a thong and some sparkles.

  11. Has been quoted for saying stupid shit:

    • "Well I mean, for a start, I don't date black guys, ya know coming from the South, there just aren't any minorities there,'s like, a major shock when you go to the big cities and all, they're just everywhere."

    • "I would never pierce anything. Belly rings are like so old."

    • A local DJ, "Would you get anything pierced?"
      Britney, "Nooo way would I get anything fake on my body."

    • " I think just being pure and doing nothing to destroy your body is cool. I think thats what's in right now."

    • "I listen to NSYNC's 'Tearin Up My Heart' because it reminds me to wear a bra."

  12. Christina Aguilera calls you trash

  13. Smoking

  14. No tan lines

  15. Don't know who Yoko One is.

  16. You didn't finish school

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